Memory

Many things, including stress, can affect the brain's ability to store memories. As with most skills, the more the brain practices the better it gets. You can help your child develop this skill by telling the story of the day with them. Recall the events together, reflect on the highs and lows. Not only will this develop memory but it also helps to put the events of the day in perspective. Feelings that seemed overwhelming at the time can be seen as transient. This helps the brain to understand how to regulate.  

When does our brain start storing memories? 

To answer this question we need to understand there are two types of memory - implicit and explicit.

Implicit memories can’t be consciously recalled. They include feelings, emotions and things you do without thinking like riding a bike. They can feel a bit like something you can’t quite hold, like a dream that feels further away the more you try to remember it. 

Explicit memories can be consciously recalled. They include memories of specific events, formulae and dates. 

Implicit memories can be formed in utero. If a mother is involved in a traumatic event toward the end of her pregnancy her fetus is likely to remember it, not the event but the feelings experienced at the time. A baby or young child who experiences trauma is likely to remember feeling the feelings linked to the trauma, not the trauma itself. Someone who experienced trauma at a young age may have feelings they do not understand which makes processing them alone challenging.

Explicit memories can’t be made until the hippocampus is formed. This happens around 3-3.5 years old. The skill of storing explicit memories is not fully formed until between 8-10 years old. 

A child or an adult may still block out the details of a traumatic or emotional event and just be left with implicit memory of the event. For example when given bad news you might forget the details of the conversation or what the person looked like, but be able to remember the feeling you experienced clearly. This is because when the brain goes into fight or flight mode it doesn’t waste time and energy on details it focuses on what it can to keep you safe.

So to answer the question, our brains have been storing memories since before we were born.